I just started back with reading my daily devotional, "My Utmost for His Highest." It is a daily devotional based on the teachings of Oswald Chambers that I have been faithful to for several years now. I put it aside about 3 months ago because my spiritual side needed less deep diving (Chambers gets down below the dust and into the deeper soil of Christian development) and a simpler approach to things. Just asking God to keep me strong enough for this day, or this moment was about the extent of my soul's needs. Very childlike and, at times, beseeching.
But wouldn't you know it? Chambers busts my chops right from the get go with letting me know that "God puts us through the discipline of darkness to teach us to heed Him. Some birds are taught to sing in the dark, and we are put into the shadow of God's hand until we learn to hear Him...If you open your mouth in the dark, you will talk in the wrong mood: darkness is the time to listen. When you are in the dark, listen, and God will give you a precious message for someone else when you get into the light. He gives you the gift of humilation which brings the softness of the heart that will always listen to God now."
My voice is about 80% now and I've been able to get some longer periods of sleep in. I'm back to Tylenol for pain except for a few times that my back and neck get to barking loud enough for me to take a dose of
Vicodin. I think my kidneys are still trying to shake out the toxins.
We got a juicer so now I'm shooting jevity (supercharged formula), green tea, water, Gatorade, and beet , apple, spinach juice into my peg tube. I drank a bottle of Ensure yesterday, but it still tastes like no flavored Maalox -yuck. Fortunately, I have been able to drink hot green tea (with lemongrass) and that keeps my swallowing muscles in shape.
I'm looking forward to tasting things again whenever that time comes.
Onward and forward...One day at a time.