2 steps back...

The thing about recovery is that it isn't linear or always predictable, especially after getting infused and radiated with stuff they used at Hiroshima.   Interestingly enough, when Deanna sat in with one of the radiation therapists (behind the lead reinforced wall)  one morning during a treatment session, he noted to her that much of what is known and used by today's oncologists regarding dosage etc. was learned by studying survivors of Hiroshima a Nagasaki!  Thought provoking to say the least.

It's been 5 weeks since my last post and my current physical status has changed somewhat...not all to the good.  My energy continues to ebb and flow, mostly better in the early morning and then tanking close to lunch time.  After a nap I'm better for a couple hours and then I'm pretty much done for the day and have to just rest.  I've been experiencing some real weird, and pretty gnarly, back and neck pain that intensifies as the day progresses.  I've been back to Vicodin again some nights at bed time to be able to sleep.  Thank God for Deanna who always offers a back/neck massage nightly.  My incredible kids got me a massage chair for Father's Day!

Saturday's present the biggest challenge because I lead worship and need to be the "guy folks look to" for encouragement and, at times, spiritual comfort.  I'm so thankful that my voice is back(well mostly) and I get to sing songs to our Creator and for our congregation of worshipping folks.  It is almost overwhelming at times to be able to use that gift for His purposes.  God's spirit soars in us when voices sing in perfect three part harmony.  Here's a thought for my unbelieving friends - outside of pure spiritual value can music exist for?   I'm sad for those who just don't get this.

Onward and forward in His Time and for His Will

Dave

Reeeecoverrrreeeey...

It is said , "never pray for patience" because God will answer that with plenty of opportunities to practice.  So I am taking that advice and just praying daily that God helps me to not be a jerk with others while this "too slow" recovery process takes it's course.  

While admitting that I would be glad if my energy would come back to something closer to pre-treatment levels, my back and neck would quit barking at me,  and my mouth would produce some saliva again, there are many things to be thankful for.  I try to keep a mental list of those things to remind myself throughout the day that I am truly blessed and that all "suffering" in this life is temporary when viewed with an eternal perspective..

I visited a naturopathic doctor a few weeks ago and was given some gnarly tasting supplements.  Three of them were in liquid form and were to be taken in droplets under my tongue.  Not only were they bitter to taste, they caused the nerves in my teeth to scream "are you crazy!?".   I was advised to discontinue my use of caffeine and to stop drinking Ensure.  After a few of days I decided that I needed the Ensure to keep my weight up and coffee to keep from getting even more lethargic.  So, though I haven't ruled out trying the homeopathic approach again at a later date, I'm going to stick with the MDs course for now.  

Onward and forward...ONE DAY AT A TIME.

PET Scan clean...No Doctors for 4 months!

Deanna and I met with Dr. Mell today to go over the results of a PET and CT scan I had this past Monday.  He said that it showed that the tumor was gone and that there was no evidence of cancer cells in the reading.  Those are the words we have been waiting to hear after the last 6 months of diagnosis, surgery, chemo and radiation treatments. 

My next scan will be in August and I won't need another doctor's visit until after that scan.

I'm looking forward to gaining strength and energy as the weeks progress.  Physical therapy is helping with my back and neck strength.  I am visiting a Naturopathic doctor Monday to discuss nutritional strategies to enhance my recovery.

I continue to enjoy each opportunity I get to praise God for His grace and mercy.   Worship has a richer meaning these days.

Dave

Physical Therapy for lost muscles...owch!

I was referred to physical therapy to help restore muscles (like I had a bunch in the first place) and have been to three sessions.  After the first one I was really, really sore,  but things are looking better after another two.  My neck and back have been weak and sore for several weeks and the stretching three times a day seems to be helping.

Deanna has been so good at offering to massage my back and neck every night and she's learned to find the knots and work them loose.  I have also received a couple of good chair massages from Lynn T. who has been working diligently in classes to earn a massage therapist certification.

My sense of taste is improving slowly as weeks pass.  My mouth and throat are still very dry so I'm taking some medication that might help with that.

I was able to lead (sing) three songs at our Country Gospel  worship service.  It was not easy and after two services I had to go home and "crash."  This was a a huge step for me considering that 4 months ago I didn't know if I would be able to sing again at all.  God is good and I know there have  been hundreds of good folks praying for me.

Next week I receive a PET scan and the results should show weather the cancer is gone...or ???  Keep praying please.

Onward and forward with God's grace and the prayers of many loved ones.

Spring Fever!

Deanna and I are taking a road trip  to Peoria Arizona today to watch a couple of Padres spring training games.  Spring training is the time of year when the young and still eager to excel rookies mingle with wizened injury healing veterans.  The games are played with a freshness and joy that comes from unbridled abandonment to hope for great things to come in the season just ahead.

My favorite time of year has always been early spring when "all things are made new" and budding life is showing itself in childlike splendor all around us.  Withered dreary browning plant life is decaying into mulch from which the the roots of new seeds and bulbs take nourishment.   I'm hoping that the desert is joyfully blooming after the abundant rainfall we enjoyed the past month.  I'm camera ready for it!

My recovery is progressing gradually and God reminds me constantly that His time, His healing, and His renewal will come as He wills it... not as I wish it.

I am totally off the PEG tube (though the Dr. decided that I should keep it for another month as a precaution for unforeseen complications).  A small concession in the big picture.  My sense of taste is beginning to come back and I've been trying some solid foods.  Last night I had half of a chicken breast with marinara sauce.  Not bad.

I'm  thankful to be progressing in my physical recovery from a the harsh winter of chemo, radiation, and surgery.  Although I won't know for certainty weather the cancer is gone, I am hopeful for it and will continue with each day as a new creation knowing that it is all that the Lord gives us and "tomorrow will take care of itself."

Onward and forward in God's hands, timing, and mercy.

Dave

Baby Steps to recovery

"Getting Better All the Time" slowly...

It is amazing how a simple thing like being able to swallow, or talk without gagging can bring so much joy!  I can do both now and I am getting back nuances of taste.  I have not used the PEG tube for a few days now and I'm really, really looking forward to having it removed.

The biggest deal right now is the pain in my back and neck, and that seems to be getting less and less bothersome.  My energy level is also creeping up to where I can take an hour or two to go to the Church or store without my "gas" gage dropping suddenly to empty.  Getting out into the garden when the sun is shining is such wonderful treat for me now.

I attended my Growth Group meeting for the first time this quarter last Thursday.   Boy was it great to be with them again!

I have my first doctor's appointment since my last radiation a month ago...was it really a month ago?  I won't know whether they got all of the cancer for another couple of months when I will be getting either a pet or cat scan.  The lump in my neck is totally gone now, which is a good indicator that things are looking positive for future prognosis

Again...Onward and Forward in God's grace with baby steps toward full recover (I hope).

Still One Day At a Time, but back to "My Utmost"

I just started back with reading my daily devotional, "My Utmost for His Highest."  It is a daily devotional based on the teachings of Oswald Chambers that I have been faithful to for several years now.  I put it aside about 3 months ago because my spiritual side needed less deep diving (Chambers gets down below the dust and into the deeper soil of Christian development) and a simpler approach to things.  Just asking God to keep me strong enough for this day, or this moment was about the extent of my soul's needs.  Very childlike and, at times, beseeching.

But wouldn't you know it?  Chambers busts my chops right from the get go with letting me know that "God puts us through the discipline of darkness to teach us to heed Him.  Some birds are taught to sing in the dark, and we are put into the shadow of God's hand until we learn to hear Him...If you open your mouth in the dark, you will talk in the wrong mood: darkness is the time to listen.  When you are in the dark, listen, and God will give you a precious message for someone else when you get into the light.  He gives you the gift of humilation which brings the softness of the heart that will always listen to God now."

My voice is about 80% now and I've been able to get some longer periods of sleep in.  I'm back to Tylenol for pain except for a few times that my back and neck get to barking loud enough for me to take a dose of
Vicodin.  I think my kidneys are still trying to shake out the toxins.

We got a juicer so now I'm shooting jevity (supercharged formula), green tea, water, Gatorade, and beet , apple, spinach juice into my peg tube.  I drank a bottle of Ensure yesterday, but it still tastes like no flavored Maalox -yuck.  Fortunately, I have been able to drink hot green tea (with lemongrass) and that keeps my swallowing muscles in shape.

I'm looking forward to tasting things again whenever that time comes.

Onward and forward...One day at a time.

Dave